Well-Being

Yesterday, I read a comment by Consciously Frugal on Eco Cat Lady's blog that contained a question; "What would your life look life if it was centered in well-being instead of achievement?"

Coincidentally, it so happened a few days previously that I had discovered a small lump in my neck which had given me pause. A week ago, I got a ginormous mosquito bite above my hairline on the back of my neck and, while fussing over it, found the lump further down the back of my neck. My honest reaction to the lump was: "can I still write and have chemo?" "Perhaps I can get more done while sitting around having chemo?" "Oh I can smoke loads of marijuana while having chemo and finish my book!"

Aside from the obvious brutality that, should I develop a chronic illness I would be more worried about the cost because I have only high deductible health insurance, is the fact that I have no disability insurance either. So now my biggest priority is making even more money and potentially having to run a business while ill. The main focus is not on my well-being, it's on the insurance company, whether the labs are "in network" and how to not blow through meagre savings.

Sometimes, it's small wonder that my life is centered on achievement and fiscal gain instead of my well-being. I feel like I take care of myself, but it's a chore. I mean, who loves broccoli? I do try and stay organic with food and products. If I eat out, I choose a vegetarian dish or fish for its high mercury levels; this allows me to attain my madness quotient. My people, the Brits, are island people and need their mercury. Moreover, I work out vigorously and frequently; I do jumping jacks with weights, so perhaps I've popped a blood vessel! Can your jugular get a hernia?

It's these little health scares that help us to evaluate, however. Of course, nothing is ever done, as Eco Cat Lady points out; we are continually working. I am always doing, so I must evaluate how I do.